Mere baare mein zyada mat sochna. Main dil mein aata hoon samajh mein nahi. Kaun?
Salman Khan. Ahem..dialogue from his latest movie. Am sure you would have heard this.
Mere baare mein zyada mat sochna. Main saal mein do hi baar aati hoon. Kaun?
Just lol ji.
On a serious note, just remember. No nation is perfect. It has to be made perfect.
Let’s strive each day to make ours the most ‘Perfect India’ we can imagine.
Let’s be a part of this change. Upload an issue today.
Happy Change Making. Happy Independence Day. Jai hind.
:The issue I reported yesterday got Fixed. I Acted & brought a Change!
Bhaiyon..beheno..we all know who’s worse than a person who cribs about the issues around him all the time. A person who gets pissed off with him but doesn’t do anything himself.
I know we really really wish but, these issues that plague our country will never ever take offence and leave if we don’t pay attention to them. 😉 Do ‘pay attention’ to these issues, report them on www.ChangeBhai.in and take a ‘real’ step forward.
For the uninitiated, ChangeBhai is not a social awareness website. It is an online ‘Social Issues Reporting Utility’ to get a fixed set of public issues resolved. It will take less time to upload an issue than it took you to read this post. Try it!
Looking at the beautiful weather today, we decide to chuck our regular weekday issue related post and share something you will enjoy.
So Doston, here’s a beautiful song written and performed by an Indian blues rock punk fusion band called G2 Live sent to us by their lead singer Jiten about guess what…Potholes. What else did you think ChangeBhai will post a song about!?! Rainbow! Medak! Pakoda! Aashiqui-3
But… but…hang on…if you think it will be a boring or a preachy kinda song, then you are so wrong!
Close your windows. Turn up your system volume and be ready for some serious head banging. #DhyanSeHaan
Song Lyrics : Staring at the starlight On a new full moon Thinking of tomorrow Same Old doom Wondering in the daylight Howz it gonna be Hoping for an angel To come n kill me
I’m just a pothole Wanna break down n cry Im just a pothole Wud Somebody jus try I’m just a pothole For everyone to see I’m just a pothole Please set me free
Woke up last summer As the sun shined away Facing peoples anger Till the roller came that day White linen men Counting the bucks Khaki clad workers Toiled the stoned trucks
I’m just a pothole Wanna break down n cry Im just a pothole Wud Somebody jus try I’m just a pothole For everyone to see I’m just a pothole Please set me free
Shiny happy people Forgot about me Jus the clouds opened Wont let me be Back to the horror People cursed away Brakes n screeching torture Mishaps every day
And after listening to this cool song, even if 10% of you guys go ahead and upload a pothole issue on ChangeBhai, this post will be worth it. Totally! C’mon, be an Angel and kill them. Arre..gaane mein likha hai aise. Angel waali baat.
Half-sleeping-half-watching-tv-half-munching-khakhras, I just about managed to raise my eyebrow and give a puzzled wtf expression. She continued…
“Salman Khan!? Changeee?! Bhaiiii? Nahi samjha tumko”
I managed a faint “kuch bhi kya!”
After downing 2 cups of kadak desi chai, I managed to open my eyes and there she was again, sitting in front of me chopping onions and still obsessing over her Sallu.
“Didi, 25 july ko mein late se aayegi, hum log Sallu Bhai ka movie Kick* dekhne ko jaa rahe hain”
“Haan haan thik hai” I mumbled.
After she left, I began to think about the effect this man has on people across all strata of society. During the ChangeBhai conversation, Lata, of course was referring to his change making ways and his charities. He is just not another superstar for them. Speak to the street urchins on Bandra Bandstand and you will know what I mean.
Let’s do a fun task, the good ol’ Fill-In-The-Blanks.
Try filling these blanks.
Dosti Ka Asool hai madam. No ______. No __________.
Agar tum mujhe yuhi dekhti rahi, toh tumhe _________________________.
Hum pe ek ehsaan karna, ki _____________________________
Ek baar jo maine commitment kar di, toh __________________________.
Hum tum mein itne chhed karenge ki ________________________-
Got a 5 / 5 kya ?. Being a true blue Sallu fan, I can answer these questions even in my sleep.
Now, let’s try this:
1. Name of the job portal launched by Salman Khan last month ________________ 2. His charity brand Being Human works in the field of Healthcare & ___________________ 3. Salman khan donated ______________ to the drought hit districts in Maharashtra last year 4. He joined hands with a leading hospital, Fortis to launch an initiative called __________________ to provide free treatment to children with heart defects. 5. He donated _____________ to young children who walked 5-6 kms to their school in Wai.
Kya score aaya? #NoComments. If we can follow this man’s movies religiously, why can’t we do the same for his change making ways and in the process, be a part of the change that he is envisaging. I say, let’s do our small bit and help Kick* all the problems out of our country. Do visit www.ChangeBhai.in and report some issues around you.
*Releasing on 25th July at a theater near you. @Kick Producers, hamara cut bhej dena.
Disclaimer: If you are a die-hard Shahrukh Khan fan, a bollywood hater or a wannabe online cribber, you may choose to jump straight to the last line. Oops. This is the last line. Should have placed it on top. Sorry.
Weather forecast* says it is going to rain heavily this coming Sunday post midnight (chalo Monday le lo), which is when the much anticipated FIFA World Cup 2014 Final is going to be played between the much deserving Germany and every (chalo most le lo) Indian’s favourite Argentina.
Which means it’s going to rain ‘potholes’ whole night on Indian roads when it will be raining ‘goals’ back in Brazil . Arrgggghhhh. It is going to be very MESSI on Monday morning when all of us are supposed to go to work. Darn!
Taking a cue from The Guardian and ESPN’s football journalist Michael Cox’s top secret hush hush strategy (picture above) of ‘How Will Germany Stop Messi?’, I make my strategy on how will I reach my office on Monday morning. Apni apni strategy bana lo doston. Kaam aayegi.
Using historical data of the last 10 years to mark the spots where the possibility of ‘pothole formation’ and ‘garbage collection’ will be maximum post the showers, I am ready with my PLAN to reach office. Here it is:
Any guesses who is going to lose ‘IN’ the Germany vs. Argentina FIFA world cup 2014 final. Ahem..if i may say..Ger..mm..mannyyy?
Am not guessing…rehne do…Baad mein joote padenge! @Blog Admin: Am I allowed to edit this blog after the match 😉
Any guesses who is going to lose ‘DURING’ the Germany vs. Argentina FIFA world cup 2014 final. Ju and Mi, eh?
* This article assumes the weather forecast to hold true. *snigger* ROFL-LOL-LMFAO-all-in-one #ThisIsIndia
Moral of the ‘article’: Report Potholes & Garbage issues on www.ChangeBhai.in and avoid making the plan mentioned above for the rest of your life. Enjoy the match!
Maria Sharapova, the poor Russian tennis babe was whipped left, right and centre last week by the netizens of India because bechaari revealed in a recent media interview that she did not know who Sachin Tendulkar is.
My own thoughts when the news came out:
Haye haye. Satyanaash. Kalyug aa gaya bhaiya. Ye kya bol diya isne. :-O
And of course, all hell broke loose in the Indian online space. Like they say, in these popular mythological serials “Charon taraf hahakar mach gaya”.
#WhoIsMariaSharapova was trending worldwide. Indians were trying to shame the Russian by treating her like she was a ‘Nobody’.
Kaun Maria Sharapova? Humein nahi pata. Na ji. Naam hi nahi suna. By God ki kasam.
Now we, at ChangeBhai, keep trying different tactics to ensure more and more Indian netizens log on to ChangeBhai and report their neighbourhood issues, toh ek aur chaal sahi because dude, this definitely seems to be working.
So, here we go – Trying to be totally ignorant about issues that are all over the place and are known to everybody.
Which traffic problem? #KaunSiTraffic
Where are the potholes? #KahanHaiPotholes
What is garbage? #YeGarbageKyaHotaHai
Child Labour in India?Naa ji naa. Ho hi nahi sakta.
DENIAL MODE ACTIVATED
Let’s see if it works. Don’t tell anyone. Ssssshhhhhhh….
Do you think this will work? If not, then let’s ‘Deactivate the Denial Mode’ that all of us are in and upload issues on www.ChangeBhai.in. At least 1 issue each.
Disclaimer: We love Sachin Tendulkar aka apna Sachya to death.
A lot of citizens tell us that they really want to report an issue on ChangeBhai but haven’t been getting the time to do that. Fair enough. Happens with all of us.
To motivate us, here is an example of a user who saw an issue on his way to work and took out a bit of his time to report it on ChangeBhai. (He couldn’t even take a picture of the issue but was kind enough to take some a couple of days later and send it to us as the said issue was on his daily travel route.)
Just to give you an idea of how we work and the kind of updates you can expect from us after you report an issue, here’s an excerpt from our back end team’s Email conversation with the user over the last couple of days after he reported the issue on ChangeBhai.
CHANGEBHAI:We assume that the lights are within the premises and are a property of Delhi Metro. Kindly confirm the same. In order to expedite the process of closing the issue, kindly provide us a picture of the issue
USER:You are correct. The heavy lights are very much part of the property of the Metro Station since these lights are installed on the stairs wall. These remain lighted on all the four gates of Metro Stations in the morning,.(sic)
CHANGEBHAI:We spoke to Delhi Metro personnel Mr. Himadri today who said that the request for change in “timer set” of Ramesh Nagar Metro Station lights has been sent to the ground staff. The issue will be resolved shortly.
USER:Really impressed with your wonderful take on with the problem. As requested by you, find attached the pictures of lights switched on even during day time.
CHANGEBHAI: This is to update you that Shambhu Gupta- Station Manager (Ramesh Nagar Metro Station) is personally involved in resolving the issue. He also conveyed that from now onward, they will take care that no lights are on during the day time.
It was a simple case of the timer not being set after a change of season from winter to summer, which was rectified because of this user’s effort. Kudos to Delhi Metro staff as well for their eagerness to resolve our issues.
Do report an issue on www.ChangeBhai.in . That is all we need you to do. Sharing this post with others to spread the word wouldn’t hurt either.
I remember watching an episode of Satyamev Jayate where they focused on the conditions in which the police force works in our country. I can vividly recall a police wallah speaking about how common it was for electricity board to disconnect the police station’s power supply for ‘no bill payment’ and how they used their ‘contacts’ to buy fuel for their official vehicles as insufficient funds were given to them for the same vis-à-vis the requirements.
It was an eye opener of sorts for sleepy heads like me who had tuned in to the ‘early’ morning popular program to catch their favorite superstar Aamir Khan talk about important issues. That episode indeed created a good amount of public exposure which should have ideally brought in a lot of police reforms. I hope that actually happened.
Now, of course, ChangeBhai doesn’t deal with law and order issues and hence this point doesn’t really apply to us directly. But, since, most of the issues that we handle and receive on ChangeBhai pertain to Municipal Authorities, we wanted to take your views on a similar topic.
The Context (Andar ki Baat):
In our endeavour to remain connected to the ground realities, we regularly speak to random people on the streets about the civic issues that they face on a daily basis and how effective their local management is. We had covered multiple cities before this and were pretty used to hearing negative things until we reached the Vashi – Belapur area in Navi Mumbai last week. We caught hold of people on the streets from different strata of society i.e the kaamwaali bais, autowallahs, students, housewives, office waalas and even beggars (who mostly didn’t give a damn to what we were talking about). Spoke to more than 100 odd people over the last 2 days in this belt alone.
Now, everybody (include those beggars too :-O) had only nice things to say about their area. This took us by surprise and we tried being specific with them by asking
‘kya baat kar rahe ho? koi bhi problem nahi hai idhar..kachra?..bad roads…??’
and they were like
‘nahi..woh sab Mumbai mein hai..idhar Navi Mumbai mein sab thik hai..thoda bahut toh chalta hai’.
They also mentioned that this has been a recent phenomena and their municipal corporation has really ‘pulled up their socks’.
We did not believe them entirely but of course we could get the feel that people here were generally happy with their municipal corporation’s performance.
While leaving, we took a photo of the spanking office building of New Mumbai Municipal Corporation (NMMC). Here it is:
As I drove by, I, in my head, started comparing this structure to the other bigger municipal corporations I have been visiting for meetings. Crowded dirty places full of files. No electricity. Cranky people all around. Shabby toilets. Dark passages. Computers that looked like they were from ‘prehistoric times’. (and am referring to the municipal corporations of big cities and towns by the way).
The Points Raised (Aapke vichaar):
Now, do you think municipal employees need reforms that should improve the conditions in which they work? Will that indirectly work in increasing their efficiency and creating our cities liveable? Or this is not related?
I don’t really have the answers to these questions. Do you?
Saurabh: Spain versus Netherlands ka match hai aaj bhai…kiske ghar dekh rahe hain? Kya plan hai?
Diljeet: Daru main laata hoon. Jagah tum batao?
Punit: Rohit ke ghar chalte hain..bada TV hai uska..Aur uski biwi bhi nahi hai..
Rohit: Haha..Deal hai bhai log..
Diljeet: Apni apni T-shirt pehen ke aana..mazaa aayega..
Am sure this conversation sounds familiar to most of you. If not, then you have been probably hiding in an igloo near the South pole or you just don’t give a rat’s ass like me ..:)..Jest keeding…# ILubPhutball #CristianoRonaldoIsHawwt
The World cup fever has struck almost everybody in our cricket crazy nation. With due respect to the genuine fans, let me throw in my assumed statistics again. Around 90% of these naye naye football fans who throw in historical facts and names of players have no Effing clue about any of the things they are talking about. Tips to locate these fans in a crowd.
a. They will be using their phones slyly throughout the match. Psst…Googling You See..
b. Also, beware of the men (wearing a footballer’s jersey -mostly messi, van persie, ronaldo, neymar and knee length shorts) who are going completely gaga about the world cup. Fakes of the highest order. I have met a good enough sample size in the last 20 days to back my point. #BegaaniShaadiMeinAbdullahDeewana
TRPs of global football games are steadily climbing and ‘viewing’ interest in the sport has never been higher. But, seriously, like me, have you ever wondered why India, though super duper high on the ‘viewing’ interest, sucks at the game. Not many Indians are playing this game at the ground level.
Quoting some facts from a recent HT article by Rajdeep Sardesai:
1. India has never participated even once in the 84 year old history of the football world cup.(Irrelevant point but apparently, we were almost there in 1950 but had to withdraw because we were not allowed to play barefoot. *eyeballs popping out* That was in Brazil as well, by the way.)
2. We are ranked 154th in the world
(Pakistan is ranked 169th if that helps. I felt kinda nice to hear that. #LoserMentality #IamADumbass)
Saala even Honduras is playing. #HolyCrap #YeHondurasKahanHaiBhai
Coming back to the question, I think it’s because we are so incredibly obsessed with Cricket that we do not have any more space in our head to get into any other sport even from a recreation point of view. For me, all this boils down to the same thing. We are HAPPY doing the same things over and over again. We LIKE to be in our comfort zone. We HATE to change. We just LOVE to talk about Change and DO nothing. #AllFartNoShit
Otherwise what else would explain thousands of visitors browsing the pages of www.ChangeBhai.in each day but just a handful of them actually uploading issues of their neighbourhood? Sad but true. Hey! Are you one of such visitors? If yes, then #ShameShame.
Here’s a chance to redeem yourself. Upload an issue TODAY.