Saurabh: Spain versus Netherlands ka match hai aaj bhai…kiske ghar dekh rahe hain? Kya plan hai?

Diljeet: Daru main laata hoon. Jagah tum batao?

Punit: Rohit ke ghar chalte hain..bada TV hai uska..Aur uski biwi bhi nahi hai..

Rohit: Haha..Deal hai bhai log..

Diljeet: Apni apni T-shirt pehen ke aana..mazaa aayega..

Am sure this conversation sounds familiar to most of you. If not, then you have been probably hiding in an igloo near the South pole or you just don’t give a rat’s ass like me ..:)..Jest keeding…# ILubPhutball #CristianoRonaldoIsHawwt

The World cup fever has struck almost everybody in our cricket crazy nation. With due respect to the genuine fans, let me throw in my assumed statistics again. Around 90% of these naye naye football fans who throw in historical facts and names of players have no Effing clue about any of the things they are talking about. Tips to locate these fans in a crowd.

a. They will be using their phones slyly throughout the match. Psst…Googling You See..

b. Also, beware of the men (wearing a footballer’s jersey -mostly messi, van persie, ronaldo, neymar and knee length shorts) who are going completely gaga about the world cup. Fakes of the highest order. I have met a good enough sample size in the last 20 days to back my point. #BegaaniShaadiMeinAbdullahDeewana

TRPs of global football games are steadily climbing and ‘viewing’ interest in the sport has never been higher. But, seriously, like me, have you ever wondered why India, though super duper high on the ‘viewing’ interest,  sucks at the game. Not many Indians are playing this game at the ground level.

Quoting some facts from a recent HT article by Rajdeep Sardesai:

1. India has never participated even once in the 84 year old history of the football world cup. (Irrelevant point but apparently, we were almost there in 1950 but had to withdraw because we were not allowed to play barefoot. *eyeballs popping out* That was in Brazil as well, by the way.)

2. We are ranked 154th in the world

(Pakistan is ranked 169^th if that helps. I felt kinda nice to hear that. #LoserMentality #IamADumbass)

Saala even Honduras is playing. #HolyCrap #YeHondurasKahanHaiBhai

Coming back to the question, I think it’s because we are so incredibly obsessed with Cricket that we do not have any more space in our head to get into any other sport even from a recreation point of view. For me, all this boils down to the same thing. We are HAPPY doing the same things over and over again. We LIKE to be in our comfort zone. We HATE to change. We just LOVE to talk about Change and DO nothing. #AllFartNoShit

Otherwise what else would explain thousands of visitors browsing the pages of www.ChangeBhai.in each day but just a handful of them actually uploading issues of their neighbourhood? Sad but true. Hey! Are you one of such visitors? If yes, then #ShameShame.

Here’s a chance to redeem yourself. Upload an issue TODAY.